Rutland, UK – The largest (25 m in length), intact Ichthyosaur ever found in England has been located in this region of the Midlands. Believed to be in excess of 180 million years old, it is completely dead.
Found during a “routine” draining of a lagoon lake, this beauty is the size of a bus!
Re-animated for the purposes of this interview, Ichy, his actual name according to our intrepid translator, was disoriented, and belligerent.
“What’s a bus?” was Ichy’s first utterance.
“Ddfbnervj (an Ichthyosaurian expletive), what are these strange two-legged creatures doing in my lagoon?” was its second.
Our interpreter asked, “How are you doing?”
Ichy bellowed, “How the ddfbnery do you think I am doing? I lied down on the lagoon’s bottom for a wee nap, and now this ddfbnerying shitshow!”
“What would you like to do next?,” the interpreter offered.
“Bring me that chap who placed himself beside for the photo-op, so I can teach his sorry arse a lesson, then you can unplug me, and ddfbnery off!”
After its de-animation, Ichy will be put on display at the Rutland Museum of Ichthyosaur which is yet to be imagined, funded, or built.
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2022 01 11
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