Rabat, Morocco – Not since January 2022’s Sea dragon fossil found and following a paper published in the journal Cretaceous Research in which it is revealed plesiosaurs were fresh-water creatures too; have we encountered an overly animated plesiosaur so visibly upset.
“Of course, we enjoyed freshwater and eventually emigrated to salt-water bodies as we grew up. Personally, I was born in a fresh-water body where your Sahara Desert is now. Your paleontologists got that right, but that isn’t what pisses me off!” the leptocleidid plesiosaur, who asked to be called Lepto, roared.
When prompted for more input, Lepto continued his rant.
“Check out this photo,” Lepto bellowed, “They Flintstoned us!”
Flintstone-ing refers to the characterisation of ancient beings in ridiculous situations, we learned rather quickly.
“Yeah, you got that right, Mr. Narrator! That’s I, on the right, with my buddy Spiney, the Spinosaurus. He would never bite me. In fact, when the original photo was taken, we were enjoying an underwater laugh, as you can clearly see.”
Even after explaining away the Flintstone-ing effect on his existence, Lepto was still miserable.
“Damn right I am upset! By the way, Mr. Narrator, did you know when you narrate, you narrate out loud? Just thought I would bring that to your attention. Anyway, ask me what really has me pissed off, please”.
When questioned about that which really annoyed him, Lepto thundered, “The incessant references to a Loch Ness monster in any newspaper article about any of us prehistoric creatures. What a load of Triceratops dung!”
Asked for a final comment, Lepto boomed, “Piss off!”
At press time, neither Nessie of Loch Ness, nor Ogopogo of Lake Okanagan had issued a rebuttal. We weren’t holding our breaths.
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2022 08 07
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