Butner, NC – The world-renowned fraudster Bernie Madoff has died thus ending his 150-year prison sentence, and the warden at Butner Federal Prison Camp where Madoff had been housed is disappointed.
“A lot of work goes into housing a guy like Madoff for 150 years,” said the warden. “I mean, talk about a long range plan!”
Madoff was sentenced for operating a Ponzi scheme that netted $64.8 billion US in 2009.
The warden continued to whine, “We had sourced his food. 3 squares a day, plus snacks for each of his 54 750 days not counting quite a few leap years.”
And food wasn’t the only consideration according to the warden.
“Staffing the place for the anticipated 1 314 00 hours would have been quite lucrative. I had promised my unborn great-grandchildren lifetime employment. Now, that is all shot to shit!”
The warden has suggested further action be taken.
“The rotten bastard only served 12 years!” the obviously distraught warden declared. “I was shorted 92% on his stay. We have petitioned the court to have his corpse charged with fraud again. As a repeat offender, that should add quite a bit to his tab.”
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2021 04 17