Edmonton, AB – It has come to light through the thesis of a PhD student at the University of Alberta, that there was a devotion to the Foreskin of Jesus Christ for nearly 1000 years within Christianity, and it wasn’t considered a strange devotion either.
“The circumcision is first mentioned in Luke 2:21, nicknamed the icky verse, and the concept of the Foreskin still existing gained popularity in the Middle Ages,” claims Headley Turtleneck a renowned foreskinologist.
An alleged Foreskin was gifted by one historical figure to a lesser known Pope back in the day.
“In 799 AD, King Charlemagne gifted the Foreskin to Pope Leo III and resided in the papal Sancta Sanctorum reliquary until Rome was sacked in 1527,” Turtleneck injected enthusiastically, “and at that time it was stolen!”
One young woman is alleged to have had a dream involving Jesus’ Penis Beanie.
A totally engrossed Turtleneck added, “Saint Catherine of Siena envisioned she married Christ, and the Foreskin acted as her wedding ring! If she hadn’t shared that wicked dream, Catholicism would be one saint short of a load!”
Eventually a Pope put an end to the silliness about the Devil’s Umbrella with a fairly substantial decree.
“Yes, it was 10 Leos later, Pope Leo XIII, who ultimately threatened excommunication to anyone who even mentioned the Foreskin,” our dejected foreskinologist added.
A disheartened Turtleneck plied us with one more fact.
“At one time, there were almost two dozen churches claiming to have had the Foreskin, if even a quarter of those were legitimate, Jesus’ pants would have fit like a glove!”
COPYRIGHT © WASTE OF INC. 2021
2021 05 01