
Chilean Patagonia– Paleontologists have announced the discovery of the earliest known relative of Pepe Le Pew, and they (the relatives) are livid!
Lisping through an interpreter, Le Pew Most Senior said, “Excuse me, but I only have five teeth. We figured no one would think to look for us here in Patagonia! Hell, we had to look it up on the Internet to figure out where to go!”

The scientists who found M. Le Pew’s predecessor, named Beast of Five Teeth, are claiming it lived between 72 and 74 million years ago that co-existed with dinosaurs.
“Yeah, we knew the Flintstones’ Dino! Who gives a shit? Our concern is for the family reputation being destroyed by “cancel culture” involving our descendant, Pepe Le Pew.”

The recently unearthed Beast of Five Teeth (Orretherium tzen) is believed to be a skunk-like herbivorous mammal.
“Of course, we are herbivorous,” the irate creature retorted, “Have you ever tried chewing on a Brontosaurus with only five teeth? As for Pepe, when he first appeared in movies, and eventually TV, he was seen as an adorable, yet misguided, character. How cute is his line, ‘You are my peanut, and I am your brittle’?”
Le Pew recently has been identified as a misogynistic character, and fired from the Looney Tunes family of performers.
“Now that we have been unearthed, we will have to consult another travel agent in order to relocate. What are our chances of being tracked down on Mars?”
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