Screwdriver attack deemed mistaken identity

Saskatoon, SK- A man was viciously attacked while visiting Royal University Hospital in this Canadian prairie city. The victim remains in critical condition, and an assailant has been charged with attempted murder.

The court documents do not identify the weapon, so dougzone22 contacted Robertson “Don’t call me square head” Phillips at a local hardware store.

A portrait of the extended screwdriver family

“Well, there are fifteen different types of screws that employ up to fifteen different drivers at last count,” Phillips said authoritatively, “and each has multiple sizes in Imperial and Metric measure.”

Realizing Phillips’ level of excitement, dougzone asked for a simplified dissertation.

Phillips rejoined with, “Most laypeople can identify the two basic screws; slot, and Phillips, but Robertson, Torx, Hex, Pozidrive, Schrader, Allen, and Spanner types also exist.

Show us your tips!

Reluctant to indicate that 15 types weren’t listed by our expert, we instead asked about benefits of a select few.

Phillips instantly connected, and added, “Slot can often be used in a Phillips head, Phillips will work in a Pozidrive, and vice versa. Meanwhile Robertson will occasionally turn a Phillips and Pozidrive screw.”

Minds blown with the hardware overload, this reporter returned to the Saskatoon courthouse where an assessment of the accused revealed he has “a screw loose”, and it is expected the “screws” will be put to him at the impending trial.

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