Space sex needs investigation: Report (#113)

Bedford, UK – In 1966, it was Star Trek that first offered the proposition of co-ed space flight. Two years later Barbarella exposed us to interstellar sex, and subsequently Flesh Gordon (1974, ‘90, and ‘91) introduced faux-pornography in worlds as yet unimagined.

Oh, a ticket to ride indeed!

Warp speed forward to the year 2000 during which French Sci-Fi writer Pierre Kohler claimed he had evidence of zero-gravity encounters of the sexual kind. Almost immediately, Kohler’s claims were denied resoundingly by NASA, Roscosmos, and the European Space Agency.

If ISS were rocking, one dare not come knocking

Now, with the advent of commercial space flight via SpaceX, Virgin Galactic, or Blue Origin, Prof. David Cullen, professor of astrobiology and space biotechnology at Cranfield University, is warning potential vacationers to be wary of coupling whilst away from the surly bonds of gravity.

Blue Origin: already known for its penile appearance

Cullen references numerous experiments involving mammals aboard the International Space Station. Some were capable of conception while others weren’t. Gestating in microgravity, and exposure to radiation not experienced on Earth add concern for healthy offspring. As a result, legal complications for the space tourism companies could arise.

In space, no one can hear you orgasm!

Perhaps it is time to re-imaginer those infamous words of Capt. Kirk from 1966:

Space, the final sex frontier
These are the voyages of the (insert favourite space-tourism provider)
Its 5 to15-minute mission:
To explore strange new positions
To seek out new micro-gravitational life
And new civil litigations
To boldly go where no human has gone before: inside a fellow passenger!


2023 04 04

Absolutely free sarcasm, and no one will call!