Art installation draws uniquely negative attention

Paddy’s Head, NS – A student at the Nova Scotia College of Art and Design in Halifax, NS sculpted a 36 kg chair out of limestone, and elected to install it on the sea bed of St Margarets Bay off of Paddy’s Head. The student, a freediver, couldn’t take the sizeable piece with her, so decided to decorate an area frequented by her fellow freedivers.

Final resting place of sculpture

Intended by the artist to be an underwater attraction which her diving friends adore, it has turned into quite the fiasco.

Googly-eyed freediver “sees” nothing wrong

Members of the freedive club have said, “It is a miniature stone chair casually placed like an aquatic throne on the sandy ocean floor.”

Nevertheless, local residents are appalled at the appearance of such a hunk of limestone.

The chair and one of its detractors

“Holy shitburgers,” bubbled Red, the Red Sea Raven, speaking to us via an aquatic-being translator. “I almost cracked my Red Sea Raven head on the piece of crap!”

As if torn from today’s headlines, Red continued down the healthcare path.

“I see you are one of those humans who have been complaining about hospital ER closures, but have you ever concussed yourself, and tried to receive medical attention under water?”

Realizing the question may as well have been rhetorical, our Red Sea Raven complainant gurgled, “That homemade obstacle has only been here since March, and those pesky seaweeds are already growing on it, and ultimately obscuring it from view. That shit is hazardous!”

The seaweeds were speechless; perhaps because funds did not allow for a seaweed translator. Regardless our freediving interviewer was running out of air.


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