Monkeypox gets a new name (#90)

Montreal, QC – A local Montreal men’s health group has successfully petitioned The World Health Organization (WHO) to adjust the term Monkeypox to Mpox because the original designation is considered racist, and stigmatizing. The Montreal-based group, RÉZO, had asked the Quebec government to rename the disease’s French name, and are pleased that WHO has accepted its English variant.

Even under a microscope this virus looks scary

“Stigmatizing?” growled Tommy “Don’t Call Me Cheetah” The Monkey, “You can bet your hairless ass that word is stigmatizing!”

Yet another dougzone22 interpreter felt compelled to seek some background information from the clearly irate Simian.

Mr. The Monkey howled, “The abuse of my species dates back to the 17th of your centuries. An ancient Japanese proverb “see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil” was popularized as a pictorial Shinto maxim featuring monkeys posing. What a crock of tawagato!”

When prompted for more evidence, Tommy was more than obliging. “Ever used a monkey wrench?” he chattered. “Think that looks anything like me? It’s just another example of abusive nomenclature.”

Don’t ask for one of these in your local zoo, nor tropical rainforest

“Anything else you’d like to air?” our inquisitor inquisitioned.

“I bet 100 of my kind working on 100 computers, as you would stigmatizingly proffer, could spell Monkeys better than the Monkees did!”

Couldn’t spell worth scat

“If you could talk, why didn’t you say something?” our interpreter asked.

“Why did you think we were throwing shit in your general direction? Take a hint, Mr. Homo sapien!”

An obvious follow-up had to be how much the simians hate the Foo Fighters’ song Monkey Wrench.

“Oh, shut the fuck up,” Tommy geckered, “We love that fucking tune!”

Our woke simian was last seen scampering away to piss in his friends’ mouths.


2022 12 01