The stars are out tonight, in court (#97)

Hollywood, CA – Hot on the heels of a recent revelation in which film stars Olivia Hussey and Leonard Whiting, of 1968’s Romeo & Juliet, are suing Paramount Pictures for filming them in the nude when they were minors, even more complainants are emerging.

59 years later they found their clothes

Everyone’s favourite rabbit, Bugs Bunny is testing the legal water with Warner Bros. Pictures. He is alleging his excessive on set carrot-consumption left him with a carrot-dependency he hasn’t shaken yet, despite numerous rehabs, and aversion therapies.

Pictured with current wife, and latest teeth

Not without their own claim of mishandling, the apes from 2001: A Space Odyssey are seeking restitution for cultural misrepresentation. Speaking anonymously from an undisclosed location, Moon-Watcher, his character’s name in the film, is quite adamant.

“No way in heck apes would have behaved that way!” he yelped. “Apes are a non-violent animal. Ask anyone of us.”

Moon-Watcher enjoyed a stogey, and read Variety between takes

And this just in, Porky Pig has waddled into a local courtroom. His court documents outline he was coerced to stammer so often during his career that it left him with a permanent speech impediment, and severe depression.

On the advice of his dear friend Sam “Yosemite” Abromavich, Mr. Pig sought solace in Judaism, but was denied membership on a “technicality”.

The suit seeks damages in the amount fffffity million dollars.

Could this have been Porky’s final scene?


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