Lulo, Angola – The most recent loser of the International Diamond Hide and Seek Competition (IDHSC) has met its match. Named the Lulo Rose by the company that discovered it, the rock is 170 carats and pink!
According to the Lucapa Diamond Mine, which is an alluvial mine, this failure of a competitor was found lying in an old river bed!
When interviewed by our interpreter, Lulo Rose was alleged to have exclaimed, “Shǃt, p!ss, f#@k, mother#@ker, C#nt, c@cks#cker,” or 85.7142% of a full Carlin. (Ed. According to our interpreter, the seventh of the Carlinians, t!ts, is rarely used as an expletive.)
Back at IDHSC headquarters, the organizers are tight-lipped as to the number and type of its remaining competitors.
A member of the IDHSC did offer some background information.
“We obviously congratulate the remaining competitors,” said Lou “Not Diamond” Phillips, “However; we have had some very famous also-rans. Most recently Heart of Eternity allowed itself to be plucked from a mine in 2000, and before that we had Centenary, Star of Sierra Leone, a pair named Cullinan 1 and Cullinan were found ten years apart, and of course the Hope Diamond was uncovered in the 1600s.”
A remarkable history of losing!
“Ah, but one of the earliest know washouts was a stone believed to have been used as a door-stop by Fred Flintstone’s great-great-grandfather on his mother’s side. Org Flintstone, of course, is renowned for inventing the door!”
Meanwhile, having completed its rant, Lulo Rose was being bathed, and prepared for shipment to the nearest auction house where its reward as a down-and-outer is predicted to be significant. In the diamond world, you see, members are still judged by their colour.
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2022 07 28