Things are about to get nipplely

Florence, Italy – The year was 1616, in what is probably the earliest known act of Her Body; Her Choice, Artemisia Gentileschi painted The Allegory of Inclination which is believed to be a self-portrait. Gentileschi, commissioned by none other than Michelangelo, chose to present a bare-breasted woman holding a compass while gazing skyward at the North Star.

An inheritor of the painting had the breasts veiled for the “decorum of his wife, and family”, it is alleged.

About to undergo breast reconstruction

342 years later Artemisia’s breasts are to be revealed once again in what amounts to a literal artistic striptease.

“Using Ultra-violet lighta, diagnostic imaging, and X-rays, we-ah hope-ah to bring-ah back-ah Gentileschi’s, how you say, gazongas.” explained Elizabeth Falcone, co-ordinator of the Artemisia Up Close project. “Dare I say-ah, it eez quite titillating-ah!”

Leonardo “The Prude” Buonarroti had the painting modified

Even though Michelangelo hung the piece in the ceiling of his residence, his nephew Buonarroti had the cover-up commissioned.

Michelangelo apparently had a thing for ceilings

Rumours that Hooters™ is looking to sponsor this endeavour are false.

Keeping you abreast of the news, that’s for today.


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