Mitre? More like Probablier! (#92)

Vatican City – As early as 1051, accusations of child abuse by Catholic priests have been documented. At that time, Pope Leo “Imma no lion” IX was convinced to exclude clergy who had offended repeatedly, or over a long period of time.

A long time namely 971 years, have passed, and the abuses continue to be reported.

Those in charge at The Vatican have issued denials, and apologies, and shuffled the offending staff from place to place to place.

Mitre: The hat with a contradictory name

Well, it seems the little country in Italy that could have cleaned up its act at any time in the last millennium, has decided to give up entirely. Premiering, just in time for the Yule log season, The Vatican is releasing a line of clothing that will entice even the most pious of parishioner to succumb to the wishes of its clergy.

Such a small place; such a nasty problem

Keeping the comfort of the abuser in mind, the transparent fabric is said to be wickedly wicking, and features a built-in clerical collar that leaves no doubt as to who is performing the “laying on of hands”. A simple cross adorns the front of the undergarment’s boxers. This provides some semblance of decorum, and offers the cleric a modicum of modesty.

Altar attendants, and assorted laypersons can keep a eye open for this imminent launch.