Scarborough, ON – “This pile of dirt is really ugly, and an eyesore to the nearby neighbours,” whined one resident of this borough in eastern Toronto. “Something should be done about!”
The two hectare parcel of land was originally proposed as a site for a sports field, but when that plan was cancelled, the owner began storing soil from nearby construction projects. That collection of earth has grown to a height of 15 metres, so is visible to residents who live to its south side.
Residents have noted detectable runoff when it rains, and blowing dust when the material is dry.
When approached for comment, the hill was quite upset.
“They treat me like dirt!” Mounty McMountain bellowed. “I would prefer terms like loam, topsoil, or earth actually.”
Our interpreter continued to seek input about McMountain’s feelings.
“It’s not like I chose to be here,” it added. “Parts of me were brought here one at a time by other humans, right!”
Get up on top of me, and enjoy a free view of downtown Toronto,” Mounty added without prompting.
When asked to comment on the neighbours’ complaints, McMountain offered, “I don’t control the wind, and rain. I can hardly be held responsible for the runoff, nor the dust.”
In an attempt to clear the air, McMountain howled, “I think Scarborough is a great place! It gets a pretty bad ride in the press, but has produced some great people in its history. I want to thank your interpreter for hearing me out; he is really down to Earth!”
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2022 09 19