Stephenville, NL – Like any idea that goes to shit but is rejuvenated 85 years later; Germany has entered into an agreement with Canada for a supply of hydrogen. Hydrogen is listed first unalphabetically on the Periodic Table of Elements (created by chemists, not English majors), and is particularly nasty. While featuring an entertaining lighter-than-air physical characteristic, it is highly explosive in a kabooming sort of way.
In an effort to wean itself off fossil fuels, Germany recalled its almost century-old fascination with hydrogen recently. The simplest of known elements makes for one fine, non-carbon-emitting fuel, but is extremely volatile.
Looking like a fellow afraid to clear his throat because he was raised on sauerkraut and sausages, German Chancellor Olaf Scholz inked a deal with Canada’s Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, for the export of fresh Canadian hydrogen.
Germany’s last dalliance with the element, of atomic weight 1.008, was as a lifting gas for its fleet of zeppelins. These massive airships flew quite frequently until one known as the Hindenburg attempted a landing in New Jersey in 1937.
Since that fateful evening, only the concept of using that photo for a record album, for the aptly named Led Zeppelin, has occurred. Interestingly enough, the ominously titled Your Time Is Gonna Come is featured as Track 5.
It is believed that Canada will be prepared to export brand-spanking new hydrogen by 2025, so the residents of Stephenville are herewith alerted: Get into your Dodge, and get the hell out of Stephenville!
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