“Outer space” crime to be illegal in Canada

Ottawa, ON – The long arm of Canadian Law is set to reach to the Moon, and potentially beyond. Not since Canada signed 1967’s Outer Space Treaty has there seemed to be a need to refine the criminal code.

CanadArm 3 to be outfitted with matching bracelets

“As for the question of who prosecutes space crimes, the short answer is that a spacefaring criminal would generally be subject to the law of the country of which they are a citizen, or the country aboard whose registered spacecraft the crime was committed,” Danielle “Buzzy” Lightyear declared.

With the announcement of Canadian involvement in the Lunar Gateway, and the Artemis II mission to the Moon, an update to Canada’s criminal Code was seen as necessary.

“There was an incident on ISS in which an astronaut was accused to stealing money from her spouse’s bank account while she floated freely in space,” Lightyear enlightened her audience.

The new line on criminal code states: “A Canadian crew member who, during a space flight, commits an act or omission outside Canada that if committed in Canada would constitute an indictable offence is deemed to have committed that act or omission in Canada.”

In particular, it is anticipated Canadians will be forbidden to engage in any of the following misdemeanours:

1. Any Canadian playing music to help resurrect a Canadian band’s popularity will face having charges brought against him/her.

Canadians illustrate future misuse of Lunar Gateway

2. Consumption of alcoholic beverages will on the Moon will invoked the new criminal code.

Beer consumption in lunar spaces to be verboten and dangerous

3. Making false claims of weight-loss to your Earthbound weight-loss organization will be considered against the law.

Leave your weight-loss claims at home

4. Astronauts will break Canadian law if they participate in future weightlifting events during the Olympics.

Gold-medal calibre cheater

Canadian astronauts of the future take note!


2022 04 30

Author: dougzone22

Canadian. My posts will be like the beer I drink: crafty!

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