Sherbrooke, QC – Environment & Climate Change Canada (E&CCC) has reported the finding of Covid-19 in the deer population of the Eastern Townships of Quebec. While only 3 out of 156 samples showed the existence of SARS-CoV-2, scientists are concerned.
Understandably, so are the deer and particularly their spokes-deer, Bambi.
“What the hell?” Bambi exclaimed, “Why not pick on another species like marten, or skunks?”
In fact E&CCC has also collected blood samples from marten, weasels, otters, racoons, and skunks.
“Well, son-of-a-bitch!” Bambi retorted. “That still doesn’t excuse them from singling out deer.”
An American study revealed that deer in Illinois, Michigan, New York, and Pennsylvania found 40% of deer infected with Covid-19.
Bambi was apoplectic.
“Fuck! They can just kiss my fuzzy brown ass! I am sure you saw the Disney documentary; you know many of us are orphaned, right?”
“We kind of assumed there was a good chance it was going to be present in deer in Canada, but we really didn’t know,” an infectious disease veterinarian from the Ontario Veterinary College at the University of Guelph.
Upon hearing that, Bambi literally lost his scat.
“Excuse me, but that is simply specie-ist! I am going to call for all my cervid friends to fawn-cott humans. By the way, the cervid family includes moose, elk, and reindeer. So there!”
When contacted for a comment, Santa Claus proclaimed, “Ho-Ho-Holy shit!,” and hung up hurriedly.
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