Saskatchewan couple confused after move to Ontario

Comber, ON – Roy and Mildred Old-Orchard, formerly of Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, who recently moved to this wee village in Ontario for the benefits of its southern clime and being “flat AF as Saskatchewan,” have encountered some oddities since their arrival.

Saskatchewan: the most trapezoidal property on Earth

“Moving almost 3 000 km east, we knew we would encounter a change of time,” Roy stated proudly. “Our education had informed us of the work of fellow Canadian Sir Sanford Fleming with respect to the world’s time zones.”

Sir Sanford Fleming: first Earthling to realize it cannot be noon everywhere at once

But time also presented the first of the Old-Orchard’s astonishments.

“Being from Saskatchewan, where the citizenry are aware of the work of Johannes Kepler regarding planetary motion, and Sir Isaac Newton’s Laws of Motion,” Mildred interjected, “Roy and I found Ontario’s semi-annual attempt to save daylight particularly peculiar! I am sorry, but the laws of physics dictate that is a ridiculous exercise.”

Kepler and Newton declared saving daylight to be physics-ally impossible

The Old-Orchards profess to one other fact about Ontario that is the real crux of their puzzlement. Roy expressed it with all due caution.

“Our former provincial capital, Regina, rhymes with a part of the female anatomy that I am not comfortable uttering in Mildred’s presence, but since arriving in Ontario, we have wondered why T-O-R-O-N-T-O isn’t pronounced Tunt!”


2021 11 07

Author: dougzone22

Canadian. My posts will be like the beer I drink: crafty!

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