Toronto, ON –It was recently revealed Doug Ford, Premier of Ontario, has dispensed with his French language training. Not since his first year of high school, has he stopped learning the second official language of Canada, and his province.
Travailleur “Trav” Reculer was tasked with helping the Premier acquire a language which he assured the press, “I am doing all I can, (except learn it).”
“Tabernacle!” Mr. Reculer exclaimed when asked how the lessons had progressed.
“Hit was quite the shallenge,” Reculer continued, “He ‘as a distinct issue with de hEnglish, so to learn un autre language is hunderstandably difficile, n’est-ce pas!”
Reculer indicated he tried the Socratic Method at first.
“When hI would hask un question, ‘e would always refer me to won of ‘is cabinet ministers for de hanswer. The more hI pressed ‘im for hanswers, ‘e would just leave de room.”
Another stumbling block in the Premier’s language learning was his insistence on only certain phrases.
“Mon dieu, ‘e kept hafter me for honly ha few terms. ‘is favourite seemed to be ‘folks’, and ‘e insisted on knowing ‘ow to say ‘work ‘is back off’! Hi had to tell ‘im more than wonce deres no French for non hexistent hEnglish phrase.”
Such persistence was deemed out of sorts for Reculer’s adult student.
“If ‘e ‘ad just put d’effort hinto learning the words dat exist en Français, ‘e could ‘ave passed peut être.”
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