Solsona, Spain – This small Spanish town has erupted with the news that a local middle-aged man has left his place of employment for a younger, female author. The man in question was a bishop, the youngest ever appointed in Spain, and his lover is an author of satanic/erotic novels, Silvia Caballol!
Xavier Novell is his name, and he has hung up his habit, for one which his employers could not overlook.
“Yeah, you figure one of us gets that deep into his career he is going to finish the gig,” Cardinal Fang admitted. “He had a solid portfolio!”
A portfolio in this case consists of a list of credentials of men of the cloth.
Fang continued, “He had a pretty solid exorcism record, and we stuck with him on his “gay conversion advocacy” until that became a bit of a hot-button item. He was a rising star in the biz.”
Novell had gone to great lengths in his theorizing about gays saying it was caused by an absent and distant father figure.
“With many countries banning gay conversion, we decided in 2019 we could no longer condone such work,” Fang confessed. “However, it appears Novell Psalmed out!”
“Psalming out” is a reference to a verse in Psalm 23: “Thy rod, and thy staff they comfort me,” which seems to be taken euphemistically in the church.
“The one thing we cannot condone is when one of our guys ‘Baiser le vagin’, as the French say. Anywhere, but there!” Fang added disgustedly.
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