Ottawa, ON – With Canada just days (barely ankle-deep at this point) into a federal election, campaign promises are being released hourly. Assurances of pharmacare, daycare, and vaccine mandates have been offered already.
The latest proposal is for a Goods & Services Tax (GST) holiday in December 2021, and GST is ecstatic!
“I haven’t had even the hint of a break since being implemented on January 1, 1991,” GST exclaimed at a hastily called presser, “That’s over 20 goddamn years without some down time!”
Initially set at 7%, the tax was initiated by then Prime Minister Brian “The Chin” Mulroney.
GST continued its rant.
“Don’t get me wrong, I appreciated the downgrade to working 6%, and currently 5%, but it is all the fucking time!”
Over the last 20 years, there have been calls for a tax-break, but usually from a federal party in opposition or a minority situation. As a result, nothing has ever come of the suggestion.
Happy to have an audience, GST blurted, “Oh, baby! I have heard about some sweet spots around the world from GST-paying tourists. I am going to buy myself a tax-free blanket as soon as I am on “vacay”, and head south!”
One reporter was alert enough, even after this dazzling session, to point out travel restrictions are in place due to Covid-19.
“Well, son of a bitch!” GST screamed. “Finally get some time off, and I have nowhere to go.”
Welcome to the pandemic, GST.
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