Derby, UK – The East Midlands Airport was all abuzz this week after a 34-year old man, who missed the last call for his flight, dove onto the intake luggage carousel in what was seen as an attempt to board his flight anyway.
“Bloody hell!” exclaimed ticket agent William “Bloody Hell” Snetterton-Lewis, “We had to summon the local constabulary.”
Leicestershire police were quick to respond to the “security breach”.
Special Constable Rodney Bailiwick reported, “I says to my partner, ‘We’ve got ourselves a real John McClane here, all right!’
“Bloody hell,” Snetterton-Lewis interrupted, “We can’t have passengers back behind the rubber flaps. The outsiders can’t be seeing how quickly we get to losing luggage, nor the fully stocked lounge we maintain back there. There’s nothing like a tall malt to kick-start the day!”
Once apprehended, Dan Baraniecka of Gdansk had a simple explanation.
“Een old country, you miss final boarding call, you are instantly flying Samsonite Air, eef you are catching my drift.”
Snetterton-Lewis was instantly enraged.
“Bloody hell! That means another sensitivity-training session for us ticket agents. Wasn’t the whole idea of voting Leave so we could avoid dealing with foreigners?”
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