New world record established

Inuvik, NT – Not since Olympic Hide & Seek was first brought to the world’s attention on December 14, 1972 by Monty Python’s Flying Circus has there been so much excitement about the event. Just recently, in this small town in Canada’s Northwest Territories, a new world record was established. The new mark set for a hide is now 890 million years!

“The level of skill exhibited is Gretzky-esque!” exclaimed Elizabeth Turner, professor of earth sciences at Laurentian University in Sudbury, ON, “Bloody impressive if I do say so myself.”

This Hide exceeds by far the previous record of 588 million years.

“Hides of this duration are typically referenced as fossils,” Turner confided.

**Turner pictured on the prowl in Nunavut**

Paleontologists, long considered as Seekers in the world of science, are astonished at this latest discovery.

Speaking freely at Diamond Tooth Gertie’s Gambling Hall in Dawson City Yukon, Dale “The Rock” Hammer said, “So close, and yet so far away. That’s how the petrographically identical vermiform microstructure crumbles.”