Regina, SK –The Roman Catholic Bishops of Saskatchewan, speaking anonymously through a press release (see names below), have suggested they will restarted a fundraising campaign promised 5 years ago to Canada’s Indigenous people.
“Yeah, we dropped the ball on that promise to Canada’s indigenous people, I mean who hasn’t. We sort of got distracted by another Indiegogo project we have to renovate Hole Rosary Cathedral in Regina. Oops, our bad,” Bishop Don “Don ye now our…” Bolen wrote under the letterhead.
The original fundraiser for the survivors of Roman Catholic Indigenous residential schools was suggested to be $25 million.
The Most Reverend Bryan “BB” Bayda added, “The $17 million we targeted for the Cathedral seemed a lot more doable!”
The idea of crowd-sourcing the money for a Roman Catholic church wrongdoing seems misdirected.
Chiming in, as if choirboys once again, Most Rev. Murray “Chit-Chat” Chatlain, Mark “I’ll take the hag” Hagemoen, and Stephen “I’m no” Hero added, “We were all for using GoFundMe, which we jokingly called “GoFuckMe” in our meetings, but regardless we have found there are non-Catholics who are surprisingly charitable despite not having subject themselves to our version of God, so why not open this up to them too? Lord knows our church can’t afford this one too!”
Dead mass-murderer, Clifford Olson, speaking from Hell, complained, “Damn, crowd=sourcing hadn’t been invited when I got caught. Why do these priests get away with it?”
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