Vancouver, BC – When it comes to art critics, the Amateur Art Critic ASSociation of Vancouver’s membership must be busting at the seams. A recent installation of Boy Holding A Shark by the Vancouver Biennale, a once-every-2-year display in operation since 1998, has the citizenry of the posh False Creek neighbourhood all a flutter.

The following quotes are a random selection of critiques that have surfaced.
MC M (resident of Tower 16, Unit 435) “This 7.8-metre-tall eyesore blocks my view of the world-renowned False Creek.”
Dolly Ginsipper (resident of Tower 1, unit 1045) “I bought this unit because it once housed a famous Lithuanian ski-jumper, and there was no mention of Boy Holding A Shark moving in.”
Maurice “Pedalpusher” Derailleur (White Rock resident) “The monstrosity will draw a crowd, and clog the bike path I frequent daily!”
Waldo Penny-Pincher (refused to identify his residence’s location) “Oh, the resale value of my space is sure to drop, although I never plan to sell.”
Anonymous “I am not a racist, but I read the artist is Chinese.”
To date, almost 1400 denigrators have signed an online petition.
The artist, Chen Wenling, indicates the piece is a “reflection on the growing tension between humans and the ocean.”
As for the Boy Holding A Shark himself, we reached out.

Through a statue-to-human translator*, he moaned, “Have you ever held a fish? Now, take that feeling, and compound it with the fact this shark is melting! I will be seeking restitution for my dry cleaning once this gig ends!”
*Like everything else in Vancouver, an expensive acquisition.
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2021 06 16