Abbotsford, BC – A property manager who also dabbles in mysophobia has caused quite the environmental event in this small city in British Columbia.
“One day, it dawned on me the roofs of the complex had never been washed!” said Mr. Clem Surfactant of the local strata management company. “I happened to have Tide In ample supply, so sprinkled it generously on the top of this complex.”
As for its product catching some additionally unwanted attention, a spokesperson for Proctor & Gamble exclaimed, “Oh, for fuck sake! We were just recovering from the Tide-Pod-eating fiasco, and now this! Who sold that much laundry powder to one guy?”
“I got the idea off the interweb. Says there Tide is great for deterring the growth of moss on rooftops. ‘Let’s get that taken care of,’ I said.’”
Having soaped the roofline of the housing complex before checking the weather report, Surfactant was more than a little stunned at the outcome.
“Well shit! It rained, and my cleaning project evolved into what Environment Canada considered an ecological catastrophe. I prefer to see it as a cleansing of the Clayburn Creek.”
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A foamy cloud measuring almost 3 metres tall soon occupied the city’s creek.
“The creek needed a good washing! Have you seen what the frogs, and fish do it there? “Surfactant shuddered.
It seems Surfactant is not convinced of his overzealousness with respect to cleaning.
“Overheard some residents discussing anal bleaching; I think I am going to Lysol the driveway this afternoon!”
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