A Coved* Op-ed

A third wave of Coved*-19 is the charm!

Man struggles with mask and Coved*-19

by Doug Ford

Listen folks, let me be perfectly blunt! I am convinced a third wave of Coved*-19 is exactly what we need in Ontario.

At this point, the Docs have made it perfectly clear that the variance* are here to stay, and I am going all in! As you know, I didn’t complete high school, but I know enough from my drug-running days to go with the flow!

Ontario has the best nurses. I tell anyone who will listen, “Ontario has the best nurses!”

My friends, I could lockdown this province again, but we need the economy. The economists at the Science Table say, “We need the economy.”

By the way, we have the best Science Table in the country! Even the Docs tell me, “That is the best Science Table we have seen!”

As a shout-out to the people of Ontario, I say, “Let’s embrace this third wave, and show it all that Ontario has to offer. People, as the goal posts change, we have to change. If we work together and collaboratively, we can make this happen.”

Before I leave, because I have to blink after staring at this teleprompter, I want the fine people of Ontario to know we are going to copyright the oxymoron “relaxed lockdown” to help pay for all the fantastic PPE we have procured for all of our frontline workers, and teachers.

Funny story, Letch* used the word oxymoron in my presence recently, and I almost pounded him back to private school. Thank goodness I have some of the finest etymologists in the country; they understand.


Copyright © WASTE OF INC. 2021

2021 03 20

Author: dougzone22

Canadian. My posts will be like the beer I drink: crafty!

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